Jokes

It’s that time. Because I say so.

How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?
I don’t know.
It’s easy, you just open the fridge and put it in.

How do you put a donkey inside the fridge?
It’s easy, you just open the fridge and put it in.
No, you open the fridge, take out the elephant, then put the donkey in.

If all the animals went to the lion’s birthday party, and one animal went missing which one would it be?
The lion, of course, because it would eat all the animals.
No, it’s the donkey because it’s still inside the fridge.

If there’s a river full of crocodiles, and you wanted to cross, how would you?
I would need a boat to cross.
No, you just swim across because all the animals went to the lion’s birthday party.

 

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work?
A: A stick.

 

A blind man enters a bar and find his way to a barstool.
After ordering a drink, and sitting there for a while, the blind guy yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet.
In a husky, deep voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde and I’m a 6′ tall, 200 pound blonde with a black belt in karate. What’s more, the fella sitting next to me is blonde and he’s a weightlifter. The woman to your right is a blonde, and she’s a pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, mister. You still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind guy says, “Nah, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

My cow gives less milk,
now that it has been eaten,
by a fierce dragon.

Five syllables here.
Seven more syllables here.
Are you happy now?

And finally,

Haikus are easy.
But sometimes they don’t make sense.
Refrigerator.

The Progressive-Democratic Party Convention

The main themes of Party’s convention were these:

President Donald Trump is a bad man.

We’re a diverse party, dammit!

We need votes.

Trump is bad.

The economy is bad.

Coronavirus is Trump’s fault.

Because Trump is bad.

We need votes.

America is racist.

Kamala Harris has a cool family (except for her son, who didn’t appear in the family paeons).

Joe Biden is a cool father.

We need votes.

America is failing on the world stage.

Did we mention Trump is bad? And we need votes?

Not a single word on Progressive-Democrat policies—not even a mention of Party’s platform. Just glittering, empty generalities about how Party intends to circumscribe individual liberties and rights: seizing our firearms and dictating to us what weapons we will be permitted to keep and Bear and our purpose in the keeping and bearing; open borders and free welfare for illegal aliens while thus diluting the rights and gains of native Americans and immigrants who came legally; their Green New Deal, which severely limits Americans’ access to reliable energy and transportation fuels, as California is demonstrating with its green energy-dependent rolling blackouts; and child care as infrastructure for families while their Wuhan Virus-related lockdowns prevents families from going back to work at all. Not a word, carefully not a word, on how they intend to implement any of these glitters.

Not a single syllable about the violence wracking all those Progressive-Democrat-run cities, cities like Portland, Seattle, New York City, Baltimore, Chicago.

But it’ll be a disaster if Trump is elected and we’re not. Because we’re so cool.