At least, that’s what I call them.  It’s joke time, again.  Even though my wife objects….

I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.

 

A woman walks into a bar and the bartender says “Hey where’d you get the pig?”

The women says “This isn’t a pig it’s a duck.”

The bartender says “No, I was talking to the duck!”

 

Two penguins walk into a bar…a third penguin says “You’d have thought the second one would have seen it.”

Q: What’s grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?
A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth.

Q: Why did the Elephant stand on the marshmallow?

A: So she wouldn’t fall in the hot chocolate.

Q: How do you get down from an elephant?

A: You don’t, you get down from a duck.

 

Q: What’s the loudest noise in the jungle?

A: A native eating cherries.

Q: How did Tarzan die?

A: Picking cherries.

Q: What’s the fastest thing in the jungle?

A: A monkey carrying a bunch of cherries.

And, finally….

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: Because it was dead.

Q: Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It was glued to the first one.

Q: Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

Q: And why did the tree fall down?

A: It thought it was an elephant.