Q: Why didn’t the bartender serve the snake?
A: Because he couldn’t hold his beer.
A chicken walks into a bar. The bartender says, “We don’t serve poultry.”
The chicken says, “That’s OK I just want a drink.”
A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, “Where is everybody?”
The bartender replied, “They’ve gone to the hanging.”
“Hanging? Who are they hanging?”
“Brown Paper Pete,” the bartender replied.
“What kind of a name is that?” the cowboy asked.
“Well,” said the bartender, “he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers, and brown paper shoes.”
“Weird guy,” said the cowboy. “What are they hanging him for?”
“Rustling,” said the bartender.
Q: Why did the elephant cross the road?
A: Chicken’s day off.
Q: How do you get an elephant out of the water?
Q: How do you get two elephants out of the water?
A: One by one.
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: “Look, a herd of elephants in the distance.”
Q: What does Tarzan say when he sees a herd of elephants with sunglasses?
A: Nothing. He doesn’t recognize them.
Q: What’s the difference between an elephant and a plum?
A: An elephant is grey.
Q: What does Jane say when she sees a herd of elephants in the distance?
A: “Look! A herd of plums in the distance”—Jane is color blind.