Time for some Humor

Yes, they are, too, funny. I say so.

The Symphony Orchestra was performing a concert in the park and was in the middle of playing Beethoven’s 9th Symphony.
The bassists in the back of the orchestra had a while to spare before they had to play anything towards the conclusion of the piece. So they decided they while they waited, they would quickly run across the street to grab a few beers at the pub.
Because it was a windy day, first they wrapped some string around their music stands to secure their music while they were gone. Then they ran across the road to the pub and ordered their beers.
Once at the pub, while enjoying their beers, the bassists could easily hear the music of the rest of the orchestra, and keep up with the progress of the piece. After finishing their beer, the bassists decided that they had the time to enjoy a few more.
By the time they had finished four or five drinks, they realized that they had better hurry, because the last movement of the ninth symphony was underway. Unfortunately, two of the bassists had passed out, and had to be left behind.
The others stumbled back onto the bandstand. But in their inebriated state, they fumbled with the string, desperately trying to get it loose but without success.
The conductor saw what was happening and immediately saw the situation. It was the bottom of the ninth, the score was tied, the bassists were loaded, and two men were out.


What do you get when an elephant skydives?
A big hole.

What was the elephant doing on the freeway?
About 5 mph.

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow?
So he wouldn’t fall into the hot chocolate.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a kangaroo?
Great big holes all over Australia.


“I need a pencil sharpener,” said Tom bluntly.

“I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.


A lion walks into a bar and asks the bartender, “Do you have any jobs?”
The bartender shakes his head sadly and says, “No, sorry. Why don’t you try the circus?”
The lion replies, “Why would the circus need a bartender?”

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