Some post-election humor….

On a recent retirement:

John Pistole, TSA Administrator, at his retirement party: his employees toasted him with less than three ounces of champagne. Then they gave him a gold watch, and he had to take it off and put it in a bin.

And

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

A couple of NSA pick-up lines:

Did you fall from heaven? Because there’s no tracking data on how you arrived at this location.

I know exactly where you have been all my life.

On computer viruses:

Paul Revere Virus: Warns of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C:>

Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a “virus.” Instead, it’s an “electronic microorganism”

Government Spokesman Virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.