…of the Obama recovery and the campaign season to see who should replace him, it’s time for some economist jokes. Live with it.
“Give me a one-handed economist,” demanded a frustrated American president. “All my economists say, ‘on the one hand…on the other'”.
A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, “Lets smash the can open with a rock.” The chemist says, “Let’s build a fire and heat the can first.” The economist says, “Let’s assume that we have a can-opener….”
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. The man tells the shepherd, “I will bet you $100 against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock.” The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock, so he takes the bet. “973,” says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. He says “OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal.” The man picks one up and begins to walk away. “Wait,” cries the shepherd, “Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation.” The man says sure. “You are an economist for a government think tank,” says the shepherd. “Amazing!” responds the man, “You are exactly right! But tell me, how did you deduce that?”
“Well,” says the shepherd, “put down my dog, and I will tell you.”
Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn’t fire, but shouted in triumph, “We got it! We got it!”
A civil engineer, a chemist, and an economist are traveling in the countryside. Weary, they stop at a small country inn. “I only have two rooms, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn,” the innkeeper says. The civil engineer volunteers to sleep in the barn, goes outside, and the others go to bed. In a short time they’re awakened by a knock. It’s the engineer, who says, “There’s a cow in that barn. I’m a Hindu, and it would offend my beliefs to sleep next to a sacred animal.” The chemist says that, OK, he’ll sleep in the barn. The others go back to bed, but soon are awakened by another knock. It’s the chemist who says, “There’s a pig in that barn. I’m Jewish and cannot sleep next to an unclean animal.” So the economist is sent to the barn. It’s getting late, the others are very tired and soon fall asleep, but they’re awakened by an even louder knocking. They open the door and are surprised by what they see: it’s the cow and the pig.