The US Chamber of Commerce’s Institute for Legal Reform has settled on its view of the most ridiculous lawsuits of the just concluded year, borrowing from FacesOfLawsuitAbuse.org. As the Institute points out, the US has been the lawsuit capital of the world for some time, and foolishness like these cases contributes to the title.
We can’t blame this idiocy on government, however. I do have to wonder, though, at the lawyers who actually agree to take these things to court. They must know the frivolous nature, so I speculate about their motives….
The most idiotic case is one that also demonstrates an amazing degree of chutzpah. The criminal sues his victims because they didn’t keep their end of an extorted bargain.
Convict sues couple he kidnapped for not helping him evade police. A man who kidnapped a couple at knifepoint while he was running from the police is now suing the victims, claiming that they promised to hide him in exchange for an unspecified amount of money. The plaintiff, currently in jail, is seeking $235,000 for the alleged “breach of contract.”
Here are more examples of our idiocy, beginning with one for the psychiatrist’s couch. “It all began when I was little, and my mummy violated my Oedipus Complex….”
Young adults sue mother for sending cards without gifts and playing favorites. The plaintiffs, now 20 and 23, claimed the mother “sometimes didn’t include gifts in cards sent to her children; played favorites with her children…did not send care packages until his sixth semester away at college…changed her surname, thus ‘causing attention’ at her daughter’s school events; and refused to buy her a homecoming dress.”
Poor babies…. Let’s see, now. I didn’t get a care package, ever. And my mother never bought me a homecoming dress, either. Or a tux, which would have fit me better. Or even rent me one. Hmm….
Everyone’s a critic, too. Opinions, though, are as ubiquitous as certain body parts; no one is obligated to hear or view either.
Woman sues over movie trailer; says not enough driving in ‘Drive’. A Michigan woman who claims she was misled by the trailers for the movie ‘Drive’ is suing the distributors of the film. She says she was disappointed by the lack of driving in the film and was expecting something more similar to the ‘Fast and Furious’ films.
Back to misbehaving mothers:
Mom files suit against exclusive preschool over child’s college prospects. A New Yorker is suing a private preschool, saying the school’s curriculum has seriously hurt her 4-year-old’s chances of getting into an Ivy League college.
This assumes an Ivy League education is a worthy goal. If the private preschool is living up to Mom’s allegations, they’re actually doing little Buffy a favor. Oh, great—now the Ivy Leaguers are going to sue….
All I can say about the next one is that it’s a good thing he didn’t pull either one of these stunts in Texas.
Man sues bar for not disarming him before he started drinking (and fighting). A Pennsylvania man illegally brought a gun into a bar, then got injured in a drunken shootout with another patron, and now has sued the bar for not searching him for a weapon on his way in.
Finally, there’s this.
Mother sues Chuck E. Cheese – says games encourage gambling in children. A California woman has filed a lawsuit against Chuck E. Cheese on the grounds that their games are actually an illegal form of gambling and could get kids hooked. She is seeking at least $5 million; the restaurant says the games are legal and has asked a judge to dismiss the suit.
I played bingo in grade school, matched pennies in junior high, and played poker all through high school. Nine to two Mom (what is it about mothers?) loses this one.